Healthy benefits of SPAM

Doctors making mistakes

A bum rap for a classic of American "cuisine"

Last month, I wrote to you — somewhat gleefully, I'll admit —
about the impending extinction of the Hostess Twinkie and it's
deadly cousins, the Ding-dong and the Ho-ho (how did they come
up with these names?). Paradoxically, these chemical-loaded,
nearly nutrition-less sugar-bombs have long been considered
HARMLESS by the mainstream. Right now, they're stacked high
in convenience stores, lined up in rows in school vending machines
and nestled on the kitchen-cabinet shelves of countless American
households.

And if the Hostess Bakery does indeed go belly-up (as I'm
hoping), many may even shed a nostalgic tear as the Twinkie and
friends fade into history. I'm certain the mainstream media will
have a field day over it, anyway. What's even more ironic is the
fact that while deadly, diabetes-causing Twinkies have been
getting a free pass for decades, another classic American foodstuff
that's actually good for you has been getting horribly maligned for
years...

Of course, I'm talking about SPAM.

Yes, instead of being exalted as the healthy, simple, and affordable
food it is, Spam has gotten the "Rodney Dangerfield" treatment in
the mainstream — especially in the last 5 years, as the venerable
brand has been co-opted by the digerati as another name for
Internet junk mail! 

But junk mail or not, Spam's definitely not junk FOOD. In fact,
it's as close to perfect as a processed, indefinite-shelf-life food can
be. Unlike the Twinkie's list of 27 ingredients (most of which
aren't found in nature) Spam's got only 5 all-natural ingredients:

1) Chopped pork shoulder and ham meat

2) Salt

3) Water

4) Sugar (must be only a smidge — the nutritional info lists 0
grams of sugars)

5) Sodium Nitrite
 
Lest you're wondering about that last one — yes, it's a
preservative. But unlike other preservatives (like a lot of the ones
in Hostess Bakery's bag of tricks), Sodium Nitrite is produced by
your own body at a far greater rate than what you likely consume
in food. It is vital in controlling bacteria in the stomach — and on
the shelf. The Sodium Nitrite in Spam (and in other packaged
meats) guards against such bacterial nasties as botulism.

But as great as Spam is as a healthy, economical food, the truly
American success story of this historic meat product is even
greater. Keep reading...

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The True Hollywood Story: SPAM

When most people think of a canned food, they probably don't
think about its place in American (and world) history. Yet just like
people and places, foods have a story behind them. The hamburger
has a story. The Sloppy Joe has a story. Oreo cookies have a story
(albeit a fattening one)...

And Spam has a story, too — one that'll bring a patriotic tear to
the eye. According to various Spam-friendly Web sites (there are
several), here are some of the high points in that story:

*The U.S. military continues to rely on Spam as a staple
 foodstuff for mess halls nationwide — over 3 million
 pounds of the meat were purchased by the armed forces in
 1989 alone.

*Nikita Kruschev himself (our Cold War arch-enemy, but
 our ally in WWII) credited the millions of rations of cheap,
 hardy, and easy-to-cook Spam the U.S. supplied for the
 survival of the Russian Army in the Second World War.

*Spam is trademarked and sold in at least 93 countries
 worldwide. In some (like Korea), it's marketed as gourmet
 food and sold in stylish presentation boxes.

*An average of nearly 4 cans of Spam per second are
 consumed in the U.S alone.

*If every can of Spam ever eaten were aligned end-to-end,
 that line would encircle the Earth more than ten times.

*The simple name SPAM came from a contraction of
 "spiced ham," and was the winning entry in a 1937 contest
 to re-brand the Hormel-made lunchmeat — then 11 years
 old and failing in the marketplace. The name was a hit, and
 Spam has dominated its market segment ever since.

More than all this, though, Spam is delicious. Sliced medium-thin
and pan-fried over a stove (or even better, over a campfire), there's
no tastier accompaniment for nature's perfect food, eggs. If you
don't have any of it on your shelves, maybe you should stop at the
corner store and buy some. There's simply no better nostalgia trip
you can take.

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